An Interesting Argument for Environmentalism
Author Ted Fairfield
Mitigating human impact on the environment will be a challenging objective for the world moving forward. Some people argue that we are doing too little to protect the environment while others argue that we are overreaching and overspending. I think, as the Teditor in Chief of the Force File, I have an obligation to look into the pressing matters of the world, and I want to share some of the insights that I have found.
Seek and fund new research into effectively reducing carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
This is a well known policy and belief that many scientists are already looking into. From my research, I have determined that this is a good policy to pursue, and I call upon all citizens and scientists to donate towards the cause.
Standardized tests...Get rid of them
Students claim that standardized tests do not actually test knowledge; rather, they are just testing memorization skills/test taking strategies. Teachers criticize standardized tests for their focus on irrelevant details of the subject being taught.
I argue from a totally different and fresh perspective…the environment. Has anyone ever thought for a second how much paper and plastic shrink wrap is wasted in this progress? Almost 5 million AP exams are administered every year, and each AP answer booklet gets tossed after a single use. This is a serious wastage of paper and plastic and should be dealt with immediately. The obvious answer, to me, is to rid ourselves of this demon against the environment.
Don’t stop at cars; stop riding bicycles!
Now this one is interesting because most people believe that riding bikes is beneficial for the environment. People avoid producing carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide from cars and also reduce smog emissions. Unfortunately, though, the media and scientists have tricked you into believing this.
What you probably haven’t thought about is the amount of friction that bicycles produce. Everytime you ride your bike, you create friction between the ground and the wheels. Friction creates heat energy. Heat contributes to global warming. Therefore, we should eliminate bicycle riding from our daily lives.
Before you say anything, I want to preface my comments by saying that nothing is impossible if you believe in it. As many know, our bodies need oxygen to breathe. However, do you know what the bi-product of breathing is? Carbon Dioxide! Gaseous death. We might as well be pumping sulfuric acid into the air rather than exhaling a gas so deadly. Therefore, the obvious solution is to avoid breathing for the rest of your life.
Now this may seem like a tall order but not for those who are strong. Charles Darwin created the theory of survival of the fittest, where only the most fit of our species will survive. If the world were to implement my suggestion, then humans who are able to survive without breathing will live on, thus solving the environmental crisis.
Hopefully policymakers in Washington will consider my advice and implement effective policies to combat the war against the environment, but in reality, it is on you the people to start implementing these policies in your daily lives. I hope to have inspired you in your path to a new, green, breathless life.